when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
