She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Found the puke drawer
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
