and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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