Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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