i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
