I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize