I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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