Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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