brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
