i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
