Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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