I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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