Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i think i have herpe
just one?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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