But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
