I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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