Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
