i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
