guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
