genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
