Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
