did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
