Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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