My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
