On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize