drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The Olympian is in my bed
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
