go do what you do best...puke behind churches
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize