The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
