thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
