she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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