Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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