she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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