Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
they need to just BURY HIM!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Randomize
