After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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