i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize