Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
