Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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