Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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