Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
