Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
