I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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