okay pat passed out under dana's car
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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