she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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