I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
