Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
