did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
