chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
