Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
