Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
