his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
