Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
