She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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