Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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