Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
