from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so let's talk penis.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
two words: eviction party
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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