If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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