I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
no. you can't hotbox the world.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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