all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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