4 words: hood of his car
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
