Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
