all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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